Due to a factors related to stress, the death of a beloved pet, the suicide of an old burlesque peer and an extended illness, my schizophrenia has worsened to the point where an independent and self-sufficient lifestyle has become physically impossible. Because I was forgetting to do things like religiously take allergy meds, monitor allergens, sleep, do my art therapy, meditation/prayer/relaxation regimens, etc., both my physical and mental health started to collapse rather precipitously and in tandem. Currently, I am on a course steroids and antibiotics to help my severely taxed lungs, as I recover from a series of viral and bacterial infection that have ravaged my body for over a month.
It seems that at this moment, I can no longer hold a regular day job with hours beyond my control, regardless of whether it’s part-time of full-time. This was incredibly devastating because my employment as translator has been extremely wonderful and spiritually enriching. My boss went out of her way to accommodate me, and my workplace was wonderful beyond words. Unfortunately, I have reached the point to where I am now disabled and may get worse if I continue pushing myself in employment activities that don’t directly contribute to self-care. I am still relatively high-functioning for a schizophrenic, but not at a point where I can live a fully independent life without further modifications to my lifestyle. My therapist and I will be discussing what that will look like in the next three weeks.
I’ve always prided in being fiercely independent, so getting this bit of bad news is pretty hard to process. Sadness is a gross understatement. Thankfully, my life as a Christian, my faith community, friends, family, pets, and the therapeutic nature of the art I make, have been keeping me safe during this very difficult time. I am especially grateful to my husband, Mandarr, Ram and our newest illustrator, K.M. Claude, as we work on ensuring future Velvet Rasputin comics happen.
Wish me luck, blessings or whatever you are comfortable with as I do my best to deal with this disruptive ordeal.